screaming on a hill

I should of kept track of when I said I was going to stop talking to him. It will forever bother me I don't have the date. A " dear diary, I am going to stop talking to imaginary friend. I was never good at it like people with headmates do. I am going to say, 2 or 3 weeks ago? A month?  I think it was a mistake. The longer I don't, the worse reconnecting will be. Some I would forget the ( I lack a good word) talking is not real. I was feeling a little better then, I feel worse now that I will be moving again.( Seeing as how I am with my mother). So that is bumming out. Then this on top. It is just silly and stupid for a 41( or am I 42?) Year old to be talking to imaginary friends who were supposed to be fictional characters. Let alone be on love with them. Or the " one in my head" version. kingdom hearts Axel won't be the same, it would bother me I don't know which one I was into. That one became a connection to the other, any object I could hold was a pr...

 I keep ruminating and inner monologing, scripting on rapid repeat and I forget what I was going to put here.  anway. in the late 90's some friends of mine had a sleep over at their mother. their mother was into weird spirtual things, crystal healing and such. with a Kerskin's ESP board (and some protection prayer I had thrown away some years ago, it contained phrases like "we surround ourselves in white light") they came into contact with an (Incan?) girl named Kolisp. somehow she knew ff7's Sephiroth(who's last name is something like Kaiytaki kyutaki?). we eventualy befriended what were various "spirits" of fictional characters and went a romantic rout. I was not paying attintion to Saga Fronteir's Ildon being gay and blind, but I feel for that green haired Mystic. well he wound up being evil, an imposter. I think Mike was his name. maybe Mike was another being. he tried hurting those friends, and one of our group of friends had his (spirit com...